Observing mean-spirited behavior in your child is disappointing, and many parents struggle with the right steps to take when trying to correct bullying. If you’re concerned about your child’s tendencies to bully, take a look at the following tips to help you develop an action plan.
Talk It Out
If you hear about your child’s behavior secondhand, give him or her the opportunity to explain their side of the story. While there’s no good reason to bully others, the incident you heard about may have been a misunderstanding. Gather evidence before assuming your child is a bully.
Hold Your Child Accountable
Bullying is an offensive way to behave, no matter what excuse your child gives for it. Having a bad day or disliking something another person has done is not a valid reason for being cruel. If you’re certain that your child is a bully, hold them accountable for their behavior. Explain they were in the wrong and tell the child that this behavior won’t be tolerated.
Establish consequences for bullying behaviors and enforce them when your child bullies. Take away TV, their phone, internet, gaming systems, something they enjoy doing for a fair length of time. Be clear about why this step was taken and do not go back and forth with your reasoning if the child tries to start an argument.
Teach Appropriate Social Skills
Understand that most children are emotionally immature, and it’s easier for them to be mean than it is to talk through a disagreement. On top of holding your child accountable for negative behaviors, teach your him or her appropriate social skills they can use to avoid bullying. Encourage talking about the way they feel, and help them to understand that the insecurities they’re dealing with will not go away by being awful to another person.
Take Further Action
Sometimes bullying stems from deeper issues, so if your child has continued to bully his or her peers despite your intervention, you might want to take further action. Speak with the counselor at your child’s school, a child psychologist, or even a youth leader at your church if you have one.
If you feel overwhelmed by your child’s behavior, there’s no shame in seeking help. Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away, as bullying may very well worsen over time if it isn’t corrected. Intervention, however, can make a world of difference.
