Teaching children about what is and isn’t acceptable is a big part of a parent’s responsibility. As a result, many parents worry about taking the right steps when it comes to discipline. Time-outs are one of many disciplinary actions that parents consider when looking for positive reinforcement. Does it work, though?
Read on to learn more about making time-outs simple and effective.
Does It Work?
When applied correctly, a time-out can be a very effective disciplinary method. This is because time-outs are not meant to be a “punishment” or a way to shame your child for their behavior. A time-out is designed to give your child a moment to reflect in a quiet environment, and those few minutes they spend by themselves can help them regulate their emotions and learn about why certain behaviors are not acceptable.
Appropriate Applications
For time-outs to be effective, they need to be applied appropriately. Establish rules and expectations ahead of time so that your child is aware of what is expected in your home.
When your child has broken a rule that warrants a time-out, have a designated space available where there are no distractions or stimuli nearby. The point is for your child to sit quietly and think about their behavior, which they won’t be able to do if they’re watching TV or playing a game.
Be direct and tell your child why they’re being sent for a time-out, how long you expect them to sit, and what you expect them to do while in time-out. For example, “you threw something at [sibling]. Go to the time-out chair for five minutes and think about why you shouldn’t do that.”
Don’t over-explain, and don’t engage with your child while they’re in time-out. Start the time-out duration once they are sitting quietly and if they get up, make noise, or throw a tantrum, pause (or restart) the time until they’ve calmed down.
Time-Out Duration
Depending on the incident and the child’s age, different time-out durations may be appropriate. While you don’t want to keep your child sitting in time-out for too long, you want the reinforcement to stick.
Start with one minute per year of age, so if your child is three, they can sit in time-out for three minutes. If a particularly serious rule is broken, you can add a couple of minutes to the initial time, but avoid stretching the duration for longer than what’s reasonable.
When your child has completed a time-out session, discuss their thoughts with them. Ask about conclusions they came to while sitting alone with their own thoughts. Often, giving children a few minutes to think about why something is unacceptable can strengthen their emotional intelligence levels.
